How it works
We text ongoing, expert support to people caring for a loved one who is dying.
1. Sign up for texts
It only takes 5 minutes to complete our sign up form. The more you're comfortable sharing, the better we'll be able to customize your texts based on age, relationship, diagnosis, prognosis, and dates that are important to you (like a birthday or a holiday).
When you become aware that your loved one is transitioning and likely has just a few weeks or days to live, send a text and let us know. We'll send increased support specific to caring for them during the very end of their life. You can see examples of these messages by scrolling further down this page.
2. Add supporters
This step is optional, but research shows that receiving support from others helps caregivers feel less isolated and decreases burnout.
Using your customized email template or QR code, easily send invites to the people you'd like to support you. Once they accept, we'll text them gentle suggestions and tips about how to be there for you.
You focus on taking care of yourself; we'll take care of educating your friends and family.
3. Start getting texts
Once you're signed up, you'll receive your first text within minutes. Get grounding, comforting, informative help written by experts.
Real Help Texts messages:
Explore examples of real messages we've sent
- Hi, Elle. It's common for dying people to withdraw from activities, friends, and family. Know that withdrawal is not personal. It is often the body's way of preparing for death and the mind's way of focusing on the emotional and spiritual work of dying. If your stepmom is withdrawing, consider planning activities or visits during her most alert times of day. Speak to her in the same tone of voice as you always have. Your care and presence is still being received.
- Hi, Sidney. Consider what you might subtract from or add to your grandfather's space in order to make him more comfortable. For instance, you might subtract a loud TV or harsh overhead lighting. You might add soft music, fresh flowers, cozy blankets, battery-operated candles, or low lights. Creating an atmosphere of peace and calm can help him feel relaxed as you care for him.
- Hi, Juan. Animals can have a calming effect on our nervous systems and may offer a nurturing presence in seasons of stress. While your aunt is not at home, it may still be possible to help her interact with animals if that is something she would like. Consider asking someone on your aunt's care team to schedule a visit from a pet therapy program.
- Hi, Kai. Dying bodies gradually need and want less food. Meats are often first to go, followed by vegetables and other hard-to-digest foods until even soft foods are no longer eaten. As time goes on, Nathan will need less and less energy from food. While it can be hard to see him eating less, it's important that you follow Nathan's cues. It's normal for him to decline your offers of food.
- Hi, Art. It can be helpful to announce what you are about to do before you touch a part of your dad's body. Even if he cannot speak, simply let him know you're in the room and talk through what you are doing as you are taking care of him. For example, "I'm going to lift your arm and rearrange your pillows so that you'll be more comfortable."
- Hi, Reena. Brandy may sometimes appear to be staring at something far away. Some believe that during this time, a dying person is connecting with their ancestors or loved ones who have died. This can be comforting as death approaches. You might gently ask Brandy about her experience, for example, "Do you see someone you know? Is someone waiting for you?" You might also reassure her, "You are surrounded by love."
- Hi, Tim. Hearing and touch are the last senses to go. In Avery's final moments, they may be making noises and moving, but may not be responsive. Use this time to say your goodbyes and interact knowing Avery can hear and feel you. Say what is on your heart and express your love or gratitude through words and gentle touch. Trust that your final acts of care are being received.
- Hi, Gail. There will come a time when Terry's breathing shifts in a noticeable way that indicates the very end of life. This could sound like gasping, rapid breathing followed by a period of no breathing, rattling or gargling. While this may be distressing to hear, it is not distressing for Terry. When you hear this distinct change in breathing, it's a signal that death is imminent and it's time for any final rituals or words of comfort.