Not therapy or support groups. When we're grieving we want our friends by our side.
I talk to grieving people every day. They're often feeling alone and looking for help, but say they can't afford therapy or that there's a 6-month wait list to get started. Others say there aren't any support groups where they live, or that they don't feel comfortable sharing with strangers. Therapy and support groups are perfect for some people, but not for everyone (I lived for my weekly therapy sessions, for example, but hated the weekend support group I attended 6 months after my husband died). Everyone wants different things, but a few months ago it struck me that not a single person has ever told me that they didn't want their friends to support them in their grief. In fact, it's the patience and understanding of friends and family members that people ask for most of all.
Two weeks ago Lisa and Lori - two Grief Coach subscribers - were in Seattle for a conference. Spending time with them was like watching a "how to" video for friends who want to support a loved one, when someone dies. Lisa and Lori became friends while Lori's husband, Joe, was a patient at the Los Angeles hospice where Lisa was a social worker. Since Joe's death their friendship has grown, and Lisa continues to support Lori along her grief journey. While they were in town they offered to read a few of their text messages for me, on camera.
I jumped at the chance, pulled out my iPhone, and got teary-eyed watching the love and support these girlfriends share.