Losing someone to cancer is itsown kind of loss.
Grieving a cancer loss is unique
Cancer loss carries layers that other losses may not.
You may have started grieving at diagnosis
Many people don't even realize they are grieving during this time, but they can be. And it has a name: anticipatory grief. This is all of the grief you experience before someone dies.
You lost a role, not just a person
If your loved one had cancer, there's a good chance you were a caregiver at times, or the entire time. This means you didn't just lose your person. You also lost the role that was important in your life.
The shoulda, coulda, woulda's
The shoulda, coulda, wouldas are consuming thoughts that we can experience where we ask ourselves if outcomes could be different if we had taken different actions. These thoughts can sometimes fuel guilt and regret over things that were never truly in your control.
Feeling relief and then guilt about it
Feel some relief, may feel like a betrayal. But relief has its place in cancer loss. Sometimes we feel relief that our loved one is no longer suffering and no longer in pain.
You may have neglected your own health
After months or years of focusing on someone else's needs and well-being, you might find yourself in need of more care. Caregivers are sometimes called the invisible second patient.
Comparing losses
Grief is not a competition, but it can sometimes feel like one. Well-meaning people may say things like at least you got to say goodbye. These comments are often intended to comfort, but they can leave you feeling like your grief is somehow less painful than other people's. Your loss is uniquely yours. And to you, it will always feel like the hardest loss — because it is yours.
Expert support for cancer loss and life after loss.
What grievers are saying
All of the Help Texts have been helpful, I look forward to receiving them and it have been so helpful in my bereavement. Every single message that I have received has been spot on for me. I appreciate the service very much! Thank you 🙏🏽
Help Texts have really helped me realize that I am not the only one that goes through the type of loss that I have gone through. Reminds me that I am not alone.
All of these messages are beautiful and I look forward to receiving them.
FAQs about text-based grief support
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